The Slayer and Death

I was driving home after a long weekend away and noticed for the first time this year that the leaves are changing. This event always heralds my favorite time of year: Fall. Fall represents cooler weather, football season, my birthday, the return to school (sadly, the last school year for me), and a fresh feeling in the air. Of course, I live in Alabama, so it's still hot as the Hellmouth out there, but ever since I saw those leaves I've been giddy over the good things to come. However, not everyone feels the same way I do. While reading one of my favorite blogs, I discovered that the autumn season makes the blog's author depressed.  Changing leaves for her are the death rattle of the land; the season in general represents another year dying.

As most things do, this discovery made me pensive. I mean, I know that colorful leaves soon lead to bare trees, and that the landscape slowly turns to brown in the fall. But I still love it. This train of thought took me shortly to Buffy.

In season 5, Spike observes that all Slayers secretly have death wishes. Buffy denies this. After all, a Slayer's entire existence is fighting to keep herself and the people of the world alive. Beyond that, what rational person would seek death? Death, in the form of vampires, threatens a Slayer's life at every turn. Death seeks her out; no reason to bring it on faster than it already hurtles toward her.

But we find out that Buffy does have a death wish, in a way. This is fulfilled at the end of the season in "The Gift," as Buffy realizes that although her life has saved countless people, her death will save the world. And when Buffy returns from death in season 6, we find out that she would rather be dead than be back and faced with the crushing burdens that come along with being the Chosen One. Death equals peace to a Slayer. Although death is the end of the line, it's also the end of turmoil, the end of terror, the end of bearing the weight of the world.

There's also an interesting argument that Buffy is actually attracted to death, due to her two romances with vampires. But I won't go down that rabbit trail here.

So, death equals peace. And although BtVS is not a religious show, this message rings true to those of us who are Christians. Like Buffy, Christians travail through life amidst all the pain and strife that goes along with it, all the while understanding that death will bring fulfillment and peace. It's also interesting to note that while Buffy does seek to prevent people from dying, her major work centers around preventing people from what comes after dying - becoming a vampire, or living in a post-apocalyptic hell dimension, both fates worse than death. In both Christian theology and BtVS, it's what comes after death that's so crucial.

The Christian metaphor often breaks down, especially after Buffy's resurrection in season 6. But after we begin to understand the depths of Buffy's despair over being back alive and re-shouldering her impossible burden, we can at least sympathize with her subconscious desire for the death that will end her life-struggle. And this is what makes the end of the series so meaningful. Buffy can smile again because she has fulfilled her worldly mission.

So I guess that brings us back to the changing of seasons. After fall heralds the death of the year, and winter embodies it, spring does come again. And that's why it's okay to love autumn and everything it stands for: death is necessary, and it can be painful, but it can also be lovely. In Buffy's case her beautiful death was the ultimate act of love. Above all, we know that death is not the end - we can be assured that spring will come again, and with it, peace.